oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
