She went from zero to smokin in five shots
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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