You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I think I just sharted jello shots
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
