my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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