So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
COCAINE IS GR8
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
