shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
