Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
