dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
