when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I didn't notice because vodka
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize