We won't sleep together?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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