He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize