how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
