I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
