brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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