so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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