sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
