You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
