youre lurking in front of me
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
