Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
