Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I cut my penus on the lid.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
