I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
