Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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