i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
