You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
