This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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