Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I forgot how hot balto sounded
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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