so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
