this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
