No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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