i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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