There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
