after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
two words...techno handjob
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
