everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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