We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
