where am i from again
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
