I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i came on her dog
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
