Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
