oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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