its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
All I want is dick and wine.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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