the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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