I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
