I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
