He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
