I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
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