I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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