I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
