Apparently you make a good broom.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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