office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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