You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
