Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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