my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
